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June 1st, 2010


12:59 am - 13 Answers from Lost I Figured Out But You Didn't
Lost has officially answered every question they put out there. Some people just need it spelled out for them... I don't.

I was waiting for sallybanner to review the LOST finale and I would explain a couple things, but she's being a slowpoke so here is everything explained that wasn't spelled out in the finale:

#1 Jacob's powers: Jacob can manipulate probability. Technically he could make it so you flip a coin 1 million times and it always comes up heads.

That's why the guns always jam when people try to shoot Michael, he can make Richard live forever (technically possible if your skin cells, kidneys, pancreas etc. all operate "just right"). Jacob's mom fixed the probabilities so NEITHER Jacob nor the smoke monster could do anything that would lead to each other's, or one of the candidates, deaths.

That's why Smokey and Jacob can't even indirectly kill the candidates, beacuse they could potentially kill Jacob or Smokey.

This is also why the odds of you leaving the island are so low. And it explains why Smokey needed to kill Jacob in order to leave, because the rules would cease to be once Jacob was gone.

#2 Statue: The people who built the temple and the statue were the Egyptians who first found the island. It's just like Stonehenge and the Pyramids, it doesn't matter who built them and we'll never know. But lots of people have tried to unplug the drain (probably to turn off the rules and leave) which is why all those skeletons are down there.

#3 Astral projection and candidates: Jacob and smokey can invade the dreams of people they have claimed to send them messages. Smokey "scanned" both Eko and Locke (flashed the bright light) which is why he was able to be in Eko's dream and tell him about the question mark.

Because Yemi (Eko's brother) was dead on the island, the Smoke Monster could take his form. He tried to get Eko on his side to manipulate him into killing Jacob, but once he realized Eko would never apologize for his past, and would never kill Jacob (or become Jacob's replacement), he killed him.

#4 Walt: Ok, so Walt was TOO special -- his powers were out of control. He was probably a candidate but when the Others had him in Room 23 and he made dozens of birds fly into the window (from the lost minisodes) they realized they couldn't handle him and that's why they gave him back.

#5 Aaron: The same psychic who told Claire her baby was special and bought the plane ticket, appeared in Mr. Eko's flashback and admitted he wasn't really psychic. So Aaron isn't special at all.

#6 Jacob's cabin: Horace built the cabin during Dharma times, he was planning to retire on the island. Jacob lived in it for a while (it probably got old living in a foot, just ask Mother Goose) but the Smoke Monster moved in. When Ben took Locke to the cabin, he thought it was an empty cabin but Smokey (who appeared for a second as Christian) was the one causing all the ruckus in the cabin, not Jacob. This was explained if you re-watch the last couple episodes of season 5.

#7 Why Ben couldn't kill Widmore: Others aren't supposed to kill other Others. Just look what happened when Juliet killed Danny Pickett, she was branded and banished. That's why Ben couldn't kill Widmore off-island, because he was an ex-Other... even though Widmore "broke the rules" by having Keamy kill Alex, which wasn't so much his fault because I don't think Widmore knew he would do that.

Ben also wanted to return to the island and didn't want to piss off Jacob in case he was important.

But after Smokey massacred the temple, the Ajira flight, and Widmore's missiles killed any others that were left, so Ben had no problem shooting Widmore since there were no Others, and no Jacob, to get angry.

#8 Frozen Donkey Wheel: We know Jacob's mom buried the well. How did she do it so fast? Probably invaded everyone's dreams or appeared in visions to them to make them do it. Think about it... if you "saw" wild dogs running at you, or a cop right in your face telling you to leave your house, you'd probably do it even though the person doesn't physically touch you.

She had them bury it, but it still left an open cavern at the bottom. When Dharma was exploring the island and mapped the electromagnetism, they also found the well and built the Orchid station to experiment with time travel. When they finally got into the cavern, they found the wheel and hooked it all up.

The Dharma Initiative bought polar bears (the Einsteins of the bears) to Hydra Island to train them to turn the wheel. It's cold in the FDW cavern and a strong bear could turn the wheel a lot further than a human, which is why Charlotte found polar bears showed up buried in Tunisia (the exit) with Dharma collars.

#9 Eloise Hawking: After shooting her own son and finding his journal (which included details about his life, the future of the Dharma Initiative, and the phrase "DESMOND HUME IS MY CONSTANT") she left the island in order to raise him and make sure his destiny would repeat itself. That's why she made sure Desmond didn't buy the ring. The research in that notebook also told her where to find the Lamppost.

We knew from the "LaFleur" episode that if people show up at the barracks, but don't claim to be Others, they ferry you off the island on the sub. That's how Ellie left the island. But Widmore wouldn't leave so that's why they had the falling out.

#10 The Purge: After Ellie left the island, Widmore took over as the leader in the 80's and 90's. Eventually he became power hungry and ordered the Purge. After they had control over the sub and everything, he started leaving the island, hooking up with chicks including Penny's mom. Trying to have Rousseau and the baby killed, so Ben staged a coup (like Juliet later tried to do) and had Widmore kicked off the island. Because he and Ellie were not on good terms, she didn't tell him she had access to the Lamppost so that's why he bought the Black Rock logs and all that, to try to find it.

After Desmond forgot to push the button, the island became visible long enough for Widmore to see it, he sent the freighter to take Ben off the island (so he could return and be in charge without everyone still being pissy), it didn't work and then Jacob said, you were wrong, go to the sub yourself and stop the smoke monster.

#11 Dharma food drops: We saw when Faraday shot the test missiles from the freighter to the island that there was time dilation. Dharma had the same problem with the food drops, dropping them from planes at high altitudes. I think the Hatch lockdown was radio-based, not timer-based, so when the "blast from the past" food drops arrived (totally on accident) it would know to start the lockdown.

#12 The Hatch: Kelvin of all people explained the hatch in the 2nd season finale but we were hoping for more of an answer. Pushing the button stops the energy from being released, which does bad things. The 1977 incident released some of it causing weird stuff to happen (the healing powers of the island) which also has the side effect of killing babies in the first 2 trimesters since they are trying to heal. Ethan was born before the incident, Claire was already pregnant enough when she arrived, and Sun left the island early enough for Ji Yeon not to die in the womb.

The failsafe key made the island irrelevant, imploded the whole hatch and conveniently used it to plug the hole they first made in 1977.

#13 Sickness: The French Team came to the island in 1988, met with Jin, and the smoke monster dragged Montand (a candidate according to the lighthouse wheel) to the temple. But the temple people, who are trigger happy, killed him on accident and injured some of the others. They took them to the healing pool and they were "claimed" by the smoke monster (like Sayid was). They lost all their feelings and Smokey tried to manipulate Robert into first killing Danielle, because if he could get him to do that, he would then kill Jacob.
Current Location: Here
Current Mood: lostish

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January 22nd, 2010


08:24 am - Nickname
I woke up in the middle of the night last night thinking I should have a cool nickname.

The first and only nickname that came to mind was "Blade."

But then I promptly remembered that "Blade" is a movie series starring Wesley Snipes (I haven't seen it), and I didn't want people to confuse me with Wesley Snipes, so then I figured maybe not.
Current Location: The World

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January 11th, 2010


11:00 am - New Years Resolution
I think if one more person asks me what my New Year's Resolution is for this year I'm going to say it's to, "Shoot at a black person."

Just in case they tell me that's racist, I can say, "No, it would only be racist if I was going to actually SHOOT a black person."

My resolution is to shoot at one, just because it would be a challenge, seeing as African-Americans on average are excellent marksmen and might return fire. I turned it around there didn't I!

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January 10th, 2010


06:03 pm - Golden Brown
Is there a reason why so many cooking directions including phrasing such as "heat until golden brown?" Excuse me color gold, please stop hogging so much of the limelight. How about you move over a smidge and give "brown" a chance too. Let's start seeing "heat until brownish-gold" at some point during this new decade, kthx.

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December 16th, 2009


01:28 am - Carmen Sandiego
Here's something that has always bugged me... where in the world IS carmen sandiego? You'd think with modern-day forensics and GPS they would have cracked that case by now.
Current Mood: crushedcrushed

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September 21st, 2009


08:15 am - Saddest Dream Ever
I had a dream I was on the LOST island during the 1980's and dharma was driving multiple Black Rock ships around the ocean trying to train black bears (they hadn't figured out polar bears yet).

Is there a more pathetic dream than that?

Oh wait there is... I had a 2nd dream immediately after where I go on twitter.com and search hashtag #lost to see what other people thought of the episode.

I need more hobbies

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August 25th, 2009


11:12 am - When My Stories Return for the Fall
Wednesday, September 16: Glee
Thursday, September 17: The Office
Monday, September 21: HIMYM
Thursday, September 24: Flash Forward
Thursday, September 24: Grey's Anatomy
Sunday, September 27: Dexter

Thursday, October 8: Community
Thursday, October 15: 30 Rock
Thursday, October 27: BSG The Plan

Thursday, November 3: V

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April 14th, 2009


11:16 pm - Recipe for Creating Chinese Babies
Sex through jeans while standing up makes you some chinese babies. That is all.

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December 16th, 2008


08:48 pm - Kittens, Kittens, Kittens, Kittens!
Approximately 277.5 seconds ago I decided there should be a store called "Kittens, Kittens, Kittens, Kittens." I know what you're thinking... self-explanatory store name, right? They sell kittens? FALSE.

It would be a donut shop. To get publicity, they would call in an anonymous tip to a different newspaper and say the donuts are made from kittens. (Never mind that kittens are meat and donuts are made from dough, hence the name dough nuts... why do donuts contain no nuts?) And is there such a thing as DON'TNUTS? Anyway...

Every month a different newspaper would investigate if the donuts contain kittens. They would conduct extensive testing and conclude that the donuts contain no kittens, and lots of people would read the newspaper and hear about this donut shop called "Kittens, Kittens, Kittens, Kittens." Free publicity! You're welcome.

NOT "Kittens, Kittens, Kittens, Kittens, Kittens" because I just think that would be one too many kittens, if there is such a thing.

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November 9th, 2008


10:54 am - Stories That Return for the Winter
Nip/Tuck: January 6th (Christian has breast cancer!)
Scrubs: January 6th (he's just going to use those pork chops for drugs)
90210: January 6th
Damages: January 7th
Grey's Anatomy: January 8th
30 Rock: January 8th (CAT SOUND!)
Private Practice: January 8th
24: January 11th
BSG: January 16th
Lost: January 21st
Life on Mars: January 28th
Dead Like Me: February 17th
Ashes to Ashes: March
Cupid: March 24th
Rescue Me: April ??
Red Dwarf: April 10
Prison Break: April 17

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